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ClemensTime (2010)

 

Roger Clemens, a well-known former baseball player, has been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges which he denies. The evidence against him appears to be the disputed word of a professional trainer who administers performance-enhancing drugs to high profile athletes. The entire case appears to be predicated on the conflicting testimony of two interested parties. And the really hilarious part is that the allegations involve lying to congress over the use of steroids in sporting competitions. (If that doesn't get your dander up, nothing will.) For his alleged transgressions, Clemens could face up to 30 years in prison and be fined in excess of a million dollars.

Now let your imagination run wild. What if there were effective, enforceable laws against members of congress lying to the American public? Include stiff fines and likely we could pay off the national debt with a token conviction rate. Frequent incarceration of congressmen might slow the legislative process—surely being a blessing in disguise. For example, any Clemens-supporter-backlash-legislation requiring transparency in the use of performance-enhancing drugs by members of congress would decimate Viagra sales in the DC area and probably would tank related pharmaceutical stocks. So perhaps the road to establishment hell still is paved with fairness.

And think more seriously for a moment. Why in god's name is congress screwing around with issues like this in 2010? If ever there has been a time in American history when truth was sacrosanct in federal endeavors, you can bet your sweet allegations that it was not in this decade. And why are ANY federal prosecutors wasting time on this? Surely there are bigger targets to pursue. And where are government priorities in this instance? That's easy. Government priorities are never other than the priorities of self preservation—facilitating government's untroubled self-aggrandizement and expansion at the expense of bewildered and ultimately bamboozled taxpayers.

Merely bringing Clemens to federal court will show the public that a sanctimonious congress is not to be trifled with. No one cares about Roger Clemens, steroids, baseball, truth, or taxpayer monies. Preserving the illusion is all that is left. And bureaucrats typically are ruthless and extravagant when assuring their clout and the status quo. God bless America.

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